Hey guys, we need to talk. All of your perfectly enunciated Sanskrit chants are really distracting me from hearing my chattering thoughts about what I’ll make for dinner tonight. I sense this either makes you roll your eyes in derision or give me a digital high five. If it’s the latter, you may have caught this Bad Yogi syndrome and you should probably get yourself checked. Here are a few symptoms to watch out for:
- Someone farts in class and you find it a little amusing… or very amusing.
- You mentally curse your teacher when he or she tells you to hold that warrior for just “a few breaths more.”
- You dropped an F-bomb in traffic on the way to class because you were running late, and got annoyed when someone took your “usual” spot in the studio.
- Hip openers have yet to make you weepy or pensive about your emotional baggage. You’re mostly happy in Pigeon because it meant no movement for at least two minutes.
- Stick a handstand and immediately think, “OK, now who can take my picture so I can prove it to Facebook/Pinterest/Instagram?”
- You had a lazy day and the only motivation you had to go to class was to wear your new top from Lululemon.
- You’re at a restaurant for some post-yoga fuel, and you’re undecided between ordering the kale salad or veggie burger. You get up and leave to hit up the French cafe down the street where you can order fries and a sangria instead.
- You spent most of Savasana thinking up this list and ditched the last few minutes to jot everything down before it left your memory.
If I’ve left anything essential out, go ahead and add what I missed as a Public Service Announcement in the comments below.