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5 Steps to Bust Self-Sabotage and Stop Blocking Your Opportunities

Aging | Health

Are you unconsciously getting in your own way, so all that money, love, freedom, and success you’re hoping (and even craving) for can’t find you?

So many clients come to me wanting help to fix their relationships, decide how to ask for a raise, end their struggle with bills, and learn how to make money come to them.

Well, I went from being broke and on government assistance to making mid six figures a year, being loved for who I am by all my close relationships, and doing what I love—anywhere in the world I want to go.

And I’m not luckier than you, or had any more resources to begin. In fact, I probably had far fewer.

The Roadmap to Refocus Your Energy

It’s actually much simpler than most people think to turn a life from sluggish and confused, to clear, free-flowing and prosperous on all levels.

To help you get there, I’ve designed this road map to refocus your time and energy on the things that will actually make a difference, instead of road-blocking you from making progress.

Step 1: Make This an Inside Job.

Looking outward and trying to fix what’s wrong out there is not going to work. You have to do the inner work to remove what’s muddy and dark and stuck within you.

Make yourself your Primary Relationship each day, and do what’s necessary to move back into your own self-nourishment and rhythms. You cannot fake this. You have to make it happen.

Give yourself what you need instead of expecting other people to do it incessantly and unconditionally, because SURPRISE!—that’s not their job. It’s yours.

Step 2: Target Your Root Blockages.

You likely spend a lot more time helping other people figure out their issues, or thinking you know what needs to happen ‘out there.’ Well, I want you to turn that around.

Part 1 – Write A Limitation List

Get a journal and a pen, a cup of tea (or a glass of vino, like me), and start writing a list of the negative beliefs and stories about yourself and your life, relationships, self-worth, and anything else you can think of that might be limiting you or holding you back.

Example: “I attract drama.” “I’m afraid I’m not good enough to succeed.” “I have abandonment issues.”

Then ask people around you who care about you and want the best for you what they think you have to work on. Hear it, and write them down, too.

Part 2 – Reveal the Roots.

Now see if you can trace these ideas and stories back to their roots, or the original, pivotal moment—usually a childhood experience—that caused this fear/belief to take hold. Write down the story of what happened, in your own words.

Write a separate story for every root experience you had that was painful, traumatic, diminishing, and set up some fear that you have carried into your present day life.

Part 3 – Edit Your Stories.

Now, sit again another time, and rewrite those stories into a positive version that could be as true or more true than the original, less abundant ones.

Example: “My father abandoned me because my parents got divorced, and now I have an abandonment complex that makes me act insecure in all my relationships.”

Rewrite: “My father was a person, with all the flaws and fears that everyone has. He loved me the best he knew how, but sometimes relationships don’t work out—it has nothing to do with me!

He actually abandoned himself all these years by not doing his inner work and I have compassion and love for him. Therefore, I can have love and compassion in all my relationships and stand strong, because I will not abandon myself by thinking anyone outside of me can control my self-worth any longer.”

Edit all of your stories like this, and read them each day as a new mantra of how you want to believe, and live out your new truth. Which version you choose to operate from is now up to you.

Step 4: Don’t ‘Should’ All Over Yourself.

Part of the process of moving into a different way of being is to locate when and where you’ve been doing things out of obligation, guilt, misalignment, fear of confrontation or saying no, and to stop doing them whenever possible.

Usually these places come with the declaration “I should do this…” or “but I have to….” NO, you don’t have to do anything. You never have to do anything. Sure, there are consequences, but…

Stop relying on should’s and have-to’s as an excuse for continuing to choose the things you do. ~Sadie Nardini

Instead, realize that everything you agree to do is your choice. Let that fact alone begin to empower you to see if the choices you are currently making serve your highest and happiest, or if you need to make some changes to re-align with who you really are.

Step 5: Choose your Daily 3.

As we move your realizations out into action (which is the only way to create any real change), it can be overwhelming, especially if you have a lot of reconfiguring to do.

Each morning, or the night before, choose your top 3 goals for the next day. Mine are usually along the lines of: 1) getting to the main creative project I have coming up, 2) doing some form of exercise, and then 3) tackling a project I don’t want to do so much.

Make it your mission that day to get all three accomplished. You’ll have to say no to other things that arise that aren’t going to help you keep space for your Top 3. It’s hard some days, but you’ll find that if you’re stubborn, you can get your 3 done more often than not.

This consistency of right action toward your own, best expression of yourself is where sabotage gets busted, and the life you thought you should be living can begin to arise.

The more you do my 5 Steps to Bust Self-Sabotage, the more you create space and harmony in your life, and start becoming the version of You that you must be so your next, best life can find you.

Let me know how you’re doing, and let’s rock this together!

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