My life has been made of up and downs for as long as I remember. A couple of years ago, I hit one of my lower lows as I waved goodbye to the life I had planned for. I saw my dreams stumble in front of my teary eyes, leaving me with little more than a crashed self-esteem and a profound feeling of loneliness.
My story is not original, it is one of a broken heart.
At nights, I hid it away under a feathery duvet, tasting the salty tears on my cheeks. During the day, I devoted myself to work. I came in to the office before the sun woke up, and left when the moon was brightest. Keeping busy meant I had little time to think how miserable I felt. But it also left little time for me to take care of myself.
The long hours mixed with the sleepless nights and neglected nutrition left me so feeble that the smallest thing would make me either jump in rage or drown in tears.
…And then came yoga
I will always be in awe towards that special friend who encouraged me to go on a yoga retreat for a couple of days. I resisted strongly at first. I don’t know whether I was more afraid of admitting to my loneliness by travelling by myself or admitting to another defeat. I have always been a failure at any kind of physical activity. When I cried myself to sleep for the nth night, I realised that I had to go away for a while and decided to try this ‘yoga thing.’
It has been the best decision I have made to date.
My stiff body made this journey a very difficult one, but it has been worth it. Throughout the week at the retreat, I discovered that my body could do miraculous things. On the 5th day, when I was finally able to touch my toes during a forward bend, I felt the happiest I have felt in months. Every little achievement made me believe in myself again.
Yoga gave me the power to start a journey of reconciliation with myself. Each asana still makes my legs tremble, making it a struggle to avoid falling over or losing my balance. I have to concentrate so much, that I can’t think of anything else. When I am on my mat, I am in the moment. Everything else vanishes. I am at ease.
Since this experience, I have continued with my regular practice and extended it to other aspects of my life. I now have something to hold on to when the chaos hits my days. I know that this is only the start, but I also know that I am where I have to be.
by Mireya Semelas – Mireya is a declared avid reader and devoted yogi. And She's fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, she would be able to save the world. Find out more about Mireya on her blog or follow her on Instagram.
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