When you first fall in love with someone, whether as a romantic interest, friend, or creative partner, there are usually a few specific attributes that draw you to them.
You like how imaginative, creative, or wild they are. You see a part of their personality, and are magnetized by it. They have a particular twinkle to their essence that makes you crave having them in your life.
But guess what? Most of the time, what you love about someone is also exactly why you hate them, so it becomes exactly what you love and hate about them.
We all have our shadow sides.
Whatever seduced you in the first place also makes you want to strangle them. That piece of them that you thought was just so wonderful, also makes them a piece of shit.
If you’re a passionate committed lover, chances are you’re also jealous or possessive. If you’re hyper artistic and visionary, you might be flaky, or lost in your fantasies. If you’re a free spirit, you’re maybe not the most dependable. If you’re really hard working and reliable, you could be critical and judgmental.
Just like magnets, the opposites have to exist, and everything gets entwined in the attraction.~Toni Nagy
It is really easy to want the positive parts of people, and simultaneously reject the negative. Yet they are so interweaved that it’s virtually impossible untangle. You can’t just say, “I want the part of you that I like, but please keep the part of you that I don’t like tucked far away up your butt hole.”
That’s how people get colon cancer! Without the sucky side of someone, you wouldn’t have the side that sucked you in. So the question is…
How do we truly accept each other for who we are?
In reality, there are always going to be parts of you that are undesirable. We can’t strive for perfection, but rather constant improvement. We can be the best version of ourselves more often.
There is no point in hating our shadows, because we have to accept that they are part of our light—but that doesn’t mean they should rule us either.
Yet, this is a life-long process. It’s not going to be overnight that someone evolves into the ultimate being, but rather a PAINFULLY SLOW process that lasts a lifetime, if not many.
So, we have to be patient with each other. And remember—even though the people we love may drive us bat shit crazy, it’s also exactly why we are crazy about them.