We all do it: perform. We are friends, lovers, parents, teachers, students, employees… the list goes on and on. But, who are you on your yoga mat? What if you *just* showed up as you?
Lights! Curtain! Chaturanga?
I was taking a class the other day and my ego kicked in HUGE. Not feeling well, I took an early savasana, which was what I needed. Except, my mind did not let me drop in. My mind went something like this: 'you are a yoga teacher… you need to try… you are insulting this teacher's class… you are ruining the experience for the other students in the room… YOU ARE A YOGA TEACHER!' Somehow, in one pose, I'd managed to ruin not only my class, but the entire class (teacher included)! Um… Really?! My ego needed a savasana or at least a moment to practice being! Still, somehow I'm certain that I am not unique in this…
We do this all the time. Our minds make ourselves the enter of our universe and we lose sight of the fact that we are just a mere part of the communal energy; there are other players too! Then, we suffer. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't!? It is a lot of pressure to be the center of everyone's world, apart from the fact that this me-centrism is never true!
Being Is Advanced
My sweetie's teacher says that "being is advanced". Not handstands, not perfect Sanskrit, just BEING. Being is a willingness to enter a space where the moment is reality outside of mind-judgement-asana. And, as we come into being, we can step beyond our samskara (same actions) to meet any needs with a presence of heart. We are just us– not our judgments, not our fears.
Still, most of us (myself included!) are not advanced. We are human. So, we practice. And, sometimes we practice comparison-asana. But, sometimes, there is that beautiful moment: You. Now, my practice includes trying to find me. On the mat and off.