Last night I got home after a very full and sweet day: teaching yoga in the morning, a stroll through the farmer's market with a friend, a tasty lunch starring spectacular veggies from the market, a nap, a catch up conversation with an out of town friend, taking a yoga class, yummy home cooked dinner, and a shower to rejuvenate and complete my day.
While for the most part I feel extremely fulfilled in my life, when I got into bed I experienced the emotion of loneliness.
At first I was surprised as it's not a flavor I experience often and especially at this exact moment, considering the full day I had just experienced. But after some contemplation, it made sense as I had recently gone out on a few dates which did not pan out and reminded me of my desire for a deep nurturing connection.
Facing Your Feelings
As I was confronted by this feeling, I saw the imaginary road diverge into several different paths.
I could ignore this feeling by getting on my computer, picking up a book to read, or by finding a show to watch, or I could do what has worked in the past; allow myself to feel fully and let the process of emotional circulation take place.
I reached for my journal, scribed my feelings, felt my emotions bubble and transform, and just like a wave, the experience peaked and then softened.
When I thought about it even further, I was struck by the fact that we humans place so much importance on circulation on the physical level. The evidence is corroborated and extremely well known. If your arteries or veins get clogged, you find yourself in big trouble.
So why does no one remind us that the same is true for all that is moving in our internal emotional landscape?
Physical Dis-ease and Emotional Circulation
Some people propose the idea that outer physical dis-ease can at times be related to what has stagnated on the inside. A bladder infection due to an inability to let go, chronic back pain related to never feeling supported, or gout connected to impatience, a need to dominate, or anger.
While the idea of feeling fully sounds easy, in reality it brings up a dose of fear for many.
I remember the first time I got extremely down and instead of endlessly distracting myself, I laid down on my bed in fetal position and simply felt.
At first I wasn't sure if it would ever end. What if I just broke up a dam that would continue to gush with intensity forever? It subsided, and the integration I felt was surprising and extremely refreshing.
The Importance of Letting Yourself Feel Fully
Feeling your feelings and learning how to feel fully doesn't have to be a big production, it's as simple as allowing something to bubble up when you are resting in the space of final relaxation, letting a tear flow when you’re moved by a song, or welcoming even those moments of sadness or loneliness as honorable guests.
When you are willing to be in relationship with your internal topography of diverse feelings, you allow yourself to mirror the intelligence of nature in honoring conscious and purposeful movement which is the necessary lifeline of everything in existence.
Where in your life can you break up a stagnant block and usher in a renewed sense of emotional circulation?