Disclaimer: Some of what I am about to say is a bit woo woo, new age-y and out there. More than that though, it is authentic. I use words like ‘source’, but you can replace that with what rings true for you -- god, Mother Nature, connection, spirit, etc.
What I say is true for me and if it resonates with you, cool! If not, then no big deal. Hang with me and see what ya think....
Being A “Seeker”
I consider myself a seeker. I actively seek out experiences, connection and joy. Nothing gives me a greater rush than that flutter of the heart indicating that, in the words of my teacher, I have plugged into the source. These experiences happen only when I am firmly rooted in the here and now with my heart wide open.
They happen when I am cultivating a feeling of gratitude and radiating love. The experiences are literally moments in my life that seem to glow with this magnificent light. I hope that you have felt it too.
My Search For THAT Connection
Let's backpedal a bit, shall we? I grew up in a loving family that only rarely went to church. My parents taught me from a young age to get outside and find myself in nature. My youth was spent splashing in the creek, playing with my dogs, climbing trees, and on a constant quest for the most beautiful rock.
I felt joy and connection in nature -- though as a child, I certainly would not have used those words.
Flash forward to when I found myself in a Catholic all girls’ school (which I adored by the way). Formal religion was sort of new to me and I was mystified by the Catholic rituals. I loved the smell of incense, the beautiful vestments that the priest wore, the gorgeous stained glass windows at the church and during mass, I would marvel at the craftsmanship.
I saw the beauty, but what I lacked was the connection. Man, did I want to feel it, but it just wasn't there. This general pattern continued for a few years as I sought that connection in traditional forms – namely, different churches. I was in awe of the people who found god in these places but not me.
Being Truly Present In The Moment
A few years ago, I traveled to Guatemala with my husband. We lived in a tiny village and studied Spanish while working on a reforestation project. One day, we went to the ancient Mayan city of Tikal. Along with some friends, we camped on the park grounds so we could experience sunset and sunrise there. It was here that I rediscovered my connection.
Watching the sunrise while perched high on top of a temple in the jungle, I felt it. It was that old feeling that I had so longed for. A blanket of darkness covered the scene when we arrived, but shortly thereafter, the veil lifted to reveal magnificent Tikal. Tears came to my eyes and my body erupted in goosebumps. I was completely in that moment.
I was not, as had become my habit, thinking about what I was going to wear or checking off items on my ever expanding to do list. I was present in a way that I had forgotten how to be. What I rediscovered in that moment was that the search I had been on was misguided. I was on an external search for something but the true work resided in going within.
The Connection Lies Within
That spirit of connection was coming from me and it was only through those dramatic surroundings that I was able to abandon my quest and simply be present. When I allowed myself to feel unbridled and honest joy, I tapped into the source. The irony is, when I abandoned my quest, I found it. I found the guru within.
Traveling to an exotic land to find yourself is not necessary. You don’t have to sell all of your possessions and embrace simplicity. All that is required is a little quiet and a deep look within. For me, this happens easily when I am in a beautiful and uplifting space -- whether that is in my backyard or at the beach.
I encourage you to find your own way of tapping into that sacred source which radiates out from your very own heart center.
When have you felt that connection? Is it when you held your child for the first time, or perhaps the last time you read a really great book? Let me know how you connect to that source. I’d love to hear!