First of all, “hate” is probably a strong word for what I feel about this stuff, but “Things I Often Roll My Eyes at From Extreme Overexposure Within the Yoga Community” would be too wordy for a title. Here are five things that give us bad yogis, well, a bad name.
1. Yogis will sign every correspondence with either “Love and Light” or "Namaste."
Even they are sending me a message about something completely arbitrary and random like an espresso, Daniel Day Lewis, or the new iPhone, people will use this as their signature. Are we just serious about trying not to break our yogi character, or is this actually normal speech now?
2. Have you ever wondered if a yogi is vegan?
No? Well that’s because if they are, they’ll freaking tell you. Like, immediately.
3. A yogi’s mala beads are as essential as their underwear.
I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is: mala beads don’t make you any more spiritual. The bad news is: mala beads don’t make you any more spiritual.
4. Yogis like taking loud, orgasmic, breathy exhales in class.
I am all about being in the moment of a class, I really am. But in a room of 50 people where we’re shoulder-to-shoulder, dripping in sweat, I think I speak for all your neighbors when I say, “Could you take it down a notch?”
5. Yogis absolutely love their endless platitudes.
You should go vegan. You should eat less meat. You should meditate daily. You should do more yoga. You should really cut out the caffeine. You should eat more kale. You should drink more green juice. Is that t-shirt organic? It should be.
While this doesn't describe every single yogi in the world ever, this behavior is pretty common in many of us yoga-practicing folk. This parody sums it up great!
What bothers you about your fellow yogis?