Welcome to All About Happiness, DOYOU’s weekly column by happiness-expert Sandy Galiano.
We cry. We laugh. And we experience many other emotions. If you are like me then there are even times when you are not sure what you are feeling or thinking. The circumstances may be such that we step out of a place of clarity, even for a moment. Then everything seems like it has been rolled up into one giant bundle. Life is handled as a package of events instead of individual moments. Finally, at some point the clarity comes back so that all of a sudden the tangled web of experiences smoothly and quickly untangles itself revealing what is left.
So how is it that we find ourselves crying with happiness? What do we do to get there, instead of just crying?
There are different reasons why we leave a place of clarity. The most common reason is being too busy to notice the details of day to day events. The point is not necessarily missing out on good or bad events, but all of it. Clarity is a guide to living fully throughout every second so we can experience as much as possible. It is within us to discover through the choices we make on a daily basis. For example, we can not gain the clarity we seek in relationships unless we choose to be in relationships. We are witnesses for the events we choose to live in our lives and we becomes experts of our lives.
Celebrate Individual Moments
Every moment counts no matter what we think. At the moment when something bad is happening we may not be able to see why it is happening or understand its purpose, yet with the clarity I spoke of we may. It is possible to not fully understand why something is happening but to accept it for what it is meant to be. For example, I had this occur when my aunt was ill early this year and died within 2 months. I had no idea what I was going to feel when it actually happened. I did not know how much time she had. I saw her slowing dying, which is something I had experienced before. Once with my grandmother and twice with my beloved dogs. The clarity for me was knowing what was going to happen so I made sure to make the most of the individual moments in my life.
Reveal and Untangle
And so, with all the other things happening in my life at the same time, I learned an important lesson. Everything becomes bundled into one thing. What is this one thing? It is life. Life has a bundle of events and they are all separate, indeed. I had a family member sick, an issue with a business partner, a troubled friend, and I had many other things I still had to take care of as part of my day to day tasks. With the understanding I had within me I was able to accept all of these things as part of what I was living. I accepted the responsibility to be able to handle so much in such little time. I still made time to give my love and support to my family without being absent.
The revelation about the untangling is simple. In light of acceptance, with the tools of clarity and gratitude everything will slowly untangle. There is no need to worry. Had I worried about all the things happening then I would not have been present to enjoy the last moments with my aunt and the rest of my family. I would not have been able to emotionally separate the situations that took priority. I was able to always come from a place of peace and love when I communicated with the people around me. Was it hard? Of course it was. It took work, sometimes on a daily basis (during the toughest times) to remind myself of my own life’s purpose. Before speaking with someone or writing an email I made sure to remind myself as well. It not only allowed for better handling of the many situations while they were occurring but I was able to sigh in relief once everything around me calmed down. I looked back at five months of dedication to my purpose and couldn’t help but cry with happiness. I had succeeded in getting through it all by staying true to who I was. I had no messes to clean up. I was proud of myself.
Accomplishments may come in the form of certificates, titles, and awards, but I have to admit that my proudest moments have been in private. The honesty I have with myself allows me to deeply appreciate my efforts whether they are recognized or not. The greatest accomplishments are the goals I set for myself and complete. The goal of staying true to who I am, especially during the most challenging times of my life. And when I cry once or twice a year it’s all about happiness.