Even with the best of intentions going in, some relationships are simply not destined to stay the course. And, when we’re in the thick of the partnership, it can be hard to notice even the most obvious warning signs that things are less than peachy keen.
Here are some examples of the signs we tend to easily miss that could indicate that our relationship isn’t working out.
1. You’re not growing
The best relationships inspire us to blast through our comfort zones and become better people. If you find that you’re in a “rut,” are adopting self-destructive habits, or feel unmotivated and listless, it’s high time you take stock and reevaluate your relationship.
Have your goals taken a backseat to the relationship itself? Are you holding each other back? The tough questions are where the deepest insights are found. If you’re afraid to ask, you may be avoiding what you know to be true.
2. You’re not equals
Being equals in a relationship means more than splitting the bills or divvying up the chores. Partnership equality is found when each person respects and appreciates the other; there is no codependency and no ruling the roost.
When the relationship doesn’t have this equilibrium, the whole equation starts to topple—leading to resentment and feelings of unworthiness.
3. You’re not happy
Are you happy in your relationship? It’s a simple question, but the answer may be more complicated than many of us are prepared to admit. We may be content enough on the surface to squeak by, but deep happiness is born of deep and honest relationships.
Sure, you can’t solely rely on another person to make you happy, but if your relationship is making you unhappy, it’s time to take a breather and figure out where the gaps are. Quite often, we find ourselves attracted to people who reflect our own deep sources of unhappiness, so eliminate that giant red flag by making sure you’re not dating a mirror. (Though we can learn a ton from “mirrors,” these relationships are typically not long-lasting.)
4. You’re not on the same page
In a world of instant connection (a la Tinder), we often don’t take the time to truly get to know someone before diving into a relationship. Due to a lack of dating in this day and age, not only is there not much buffer zone between single and taken, there’s also a lack of communication.
No one wants the dreaded “what do you mean you don’t want kids?!” conversation, or the “what do you mean your parents don’t like me?” drama. If you’re not on the same page with your partner, it may be a clear sign that you have your nose in the wrong book.
Despite what every love song leads us to believe, ending a relationship isn’t the end of the world. In fact, determining and accepting that your relationship isn’t working is a sign of maturity. And understanding why it isn’t working will help you develop more meaningful, fulfilling relationships in the future.