Welcome to “All About Happiness”, DOYOU’s new weekly column by happiness-expert Sandy Galiano. If you want to stay up to day about happiness, sign up for our newsletter or check out Sandy Galiano’s website at sandygaliano.com.
Being single you wish you were in a relationship. When you are in a relationship you are glad you are not single sometimes because you can not imagine trying to look for someone. Being in a relationship isn’t just about winning a prize and putting it on a shelf to get dusty. It requires work by each person on a daily basis to win day by day. Here are three common mistakes everybody makes:
1) Giving Too Much
In a relationship giving is very important, but lets talk about who to give to and HOW to give. Sometimes we choose a partner who is undeserving of the words and acts of love we give. I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t go through it myself; as well as see it happen several times to men and women around me. Giving our love is natural and beautiful, yet it can result in our blindness. Yes it feels good to give, but what happens if the person receiving is only taking? If this is the situation you find yourself in then you will notice the unhappiness you carry. Correct the mistake of who to give to. The giving in a relationship must be that of giving and receiving between two people. This is the manner, the “HOW” of giving. Happiness in a relationship will automatically be present when there exists this exchange. Will there be ups and downs? Of course! But even during the “downs,” if you pay attention, you will find that happiness is there. It exists and remains present at all times.
Give the love you have and welcome it from the person you are in a relationship with. When love is given to you, acknowledge it and be grateful for it. You will be filled with happiness when this exchange exists.
2) Being Too Comfortable
The wonderful part of a relationship is getting comfortable with the other person. We are able to talk about anything. We become confidants. We are each others very best friends who can even predict what the other one is thinking before speaking. Getting to this point can bring the joy we seek; there’s no doubt.
Let me address what may occur. Being too comfortable may lead to being unappreciative of our loved ones. Do you continue to show him/her the same respect you would to someone you just met or are you complaining about the littlest of things? Have you maintained the respect for the other person? Do you remember what it was like in the beginning when you showed gratitude and love? Whether or not you are married the same holds true. There should always be respect and gratitude. Don’t get too comfortable in the day to day routine even if you do see the same person(s). The cars, the walls, and the material things won’t mind the same ól routine. But greet the people with the joy you have within. Make them something beyond another routine.
Being open and comfortable is important, yet be responsible in recognizing the human being for who he/she is. Remember to look into their eyes every day and see the person, even if for a moment…I promise, they’ll notice. And you will too.
3) Talking Too Much
There is a lot of talking about the present and also about the future. Its great to talk and see whether or not you are on the same page. As much as there is importance in exchange of words there is also a great lesson we can learn in silence. Instead of saying the things we later wish we can take back its best to be silent. This practice of silence will come most in handy during times of heated discussions. Taking the time for a moment of silence can be the greatest catalyst for happiness.
Talking allows us to communicate in one way, which may often lead to miscommunication. Try being in silence with someone and see what happens. It’s remarkable how much you can tell each other and show each other without words. The power of silence will astound you. Embrace it. Try it. Feel it.
The beauty about making mistakes is that we are able to correct it. We may or may not fall into stagnant patterns forgetting the constant presence of change. If it’s all changing then be part of the change with the person you are with. Happiness you have within already. Take it a step further and share it. Share each memory and live out in happiness together. After all, its all about happiness.