Westeros is one troubled place. After five seasons of constant war, political intrigue, and some seriously shocking violence, the people in Game of Thrones could really use some inner peace.
Yoga can relieve all kinds of problems, from PTSD to addiction to everyday stress and anxiety—as the Dothraki would say, it is known. So if yoga can create so much positive change in the real world, why not bring the power of yoga to Westeros? Here’s why the people of Game of Thrones need a serious yoga intervention.
But be careful! This post is dark and full of spoilers!
1. Because Melisandre needs to focus on the present, not the (prophesied) future.
Obsessing about the future is kind of Melisadre’s thing—she’s been seeing the future in her fires since we met her in Season 2. But focusing too heavily on the future can lead to some serious trouble in the present…as Melisandre likely knows, after that horrible thing she convinced Stannis to do in Season 5. Learn to stay grounded in the present, Mel.
2. Because Arya needs a more positive mantra.
Try something like “I am always growing and learning” instead of, you know, a list of people to kill.
3. Because it’s COLD at the wall. Jon Snow and the Night’s Watch could use some hot yoga.
Brr. Someone heat Castle Black to Bikram Yoga’s standard 105 degrees Fahrenheit. Maybe Jon’s face would thaw so he could even learn to smile!
4. Because yoga can totally improve your sex life. Here’s looking at you, Gilly and Sam!
Now that Sam and Gilly are finally an “item,” they should definitely check out couples’ yoga to take their intimacy to the next level. Because if you’re going to break your vows to the Night’s Watch, you might as well have fun doing it!
5. Because Cersei needs to open her heart to love.
In a way, Cersei’s got it right: to love is to be vulnerable. What Cersei needs is courage—the courage to accept this vulnerability and open herself to healthy love—which would hopefully make her a better parent, too.
6. Because Daenerys really needs to meditate on her life goals…
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WESTEROS, DANY? WHEN!?
7. …and dealing with growing dragons takes a LOT of patience.
Yoga could have helped her cultivate the patience she needed to train her children—a much better alternative than locking them in a cave.
8. Because Sansa really deserves some self-care.
In perhaps the saddest line in the entire series, Sansa pleads, “If I’m going to die, let it happen while there’s still some of me left.” After all this poor girl has gone through, she desperately needs yoga to reconnect with herself and focus on healing.
9. Stannis needed to accept that he can’t always be in control.
It doesn’t always have to be so black-and-white. You should have searched for the middle way, Stannis.
10. Tyrion needs to practice self-acceptance. Oh, and maybe cool it on the wine.
Oh, Tyrion. You’ve been through some pretty tough times, but all that wine won’t make you forget. Try finding peace on the mat instead of at the bottom of a goblet.
11. Because Hot Yoga might just melt the White Walkers’ icy hearts.
12. Because loving-kindness meditation might have made Joffrey a better king.
Just kidding! Nothing could change that monster.
13. And finally, because Hodor is Hodor.
Who else in Westeros could benefit from some yoga or meditation?
Image Credit: HBO